That Pretty Much Sums Up The First 100 Days

From Jeffrey Wright

4 More Classy Gift Ideas To England For Obama

Seeing how Obama's big ole Box O' DVDs went over like a lead balloon with the UK Prime Minister, cbullit suggested a "Guy Fawkes commemorative plate" to further smooth our relations with the folks across the pond. Here's some other swell gift ideas Obama's crack diplomacy team could've used to boost our ties with England:


Home Dental Kit: What better way to ridicule negative stereotypes about the Brits than awkwardly suggesting they fix up their teeth.

Germany World Cup Soccer Jersey: Seeing how England doesn't take its soccer very seriously, why not give them a World Cup jersey of one of its biggest rivals.

IRA Figurine: Even though the IRA figurine was banned on eBay, Obama's staff could've dug up this little guy to remind the Prime Minister of the mad cap hilarity that accompanies a long running insurgence.
George Washington Delaware Crossing De-Motivator: It helps diplomatic relations to remind other nations that we kicked their ass 200+ years ago. An suitable alternative would've been "We Saved Your Ass in WW2!" T-shirt, which I'm pretty sure the Brits are fond of hearing from visiting American tourists.

Obama Tries to Go In Thru Window at White House

D'oh!

So The Obama really is human! The president accidentally tried to get into the White House through a window. From NY Daily News:

It looks like President Obama hasn't gotten acquainted to his White House surroundings. On the way back to the Oval Office Tuesday, the President approached a paned window, instead of the actual door -- located a few feet to his right.

We're going to cut him some slack, since he was probably out back for a smoke break. Any smoker can empathize.

1000 Words

Thanks madtom.

But Who Is Going to Chair The Department of Unicorns?

Why must Obama keep us in such suspense?

On Preparedness

Whether it be mass famine, a zombie holocaust, or some new civil war, it's always best to be ready for the unexpected. Thanks to Sith by Sithwest for the de-motivator.

Plutocrats for Obama

It remains unclear whether or not the sock puppet from Pets.com will get his bailout with the incoming administration, but he's got a pretty good shot. Also, Matson forgot to include sleazebag Matthew Lesko in the line up:

Obama To Probe Your Embarrassing Teenage Diary As Part of Vetting Process

Your Awkward Adolescence to come Full Circle

There was some outrage over the Obama team asking potential employees if they owned firearms, but that unnecessary snooping into potential appointees has morphed into downright silliness as they are asking about people's personal diaries and text messages. Reason unearthed a copy of the questionnaire [PDF] for employment at Obama Inc. (which looks like a bigger pain in the ass than getting a security clearance). Check out question #14 on pg. 2:

Diaries: If you keep or have ever kept a diary that contains anything that could suggest a conflict of interest or be a possible source of embarrassment to you or your family, or the President-Elect if it were made public, please describe.

It's understandable that the Obama team is trying to prevent websites like Wonkette from soliciting teh lulz by digging in the dirt, but is it really necessary to have this as a job qualification for The O? Who had a diary that wasn't embarrassing? At 13 years-old, I bet you never thought that writing about your fantasy where you gallop off on a unicorn with Joey Lawrence would ever prevent you from getting a job. Welcome to the Twilight Zone.