2009-03-06

4 More Classy Gift Ideas To England For Obama

Seeing how Obama's big ole Box O' DVDs went over like a lead balloon with the UK Prime Minister, cbullit suggested a "Guy Fawkes commemorative plate" to further smooth our relations with the folks across the pond. Here's some other swell gift ideas Obama's crack diplomacy team could've used to boost our ties with England:


Home Dental Kit: What better way to ridicule negative stereotypes about the Brits than awkwardly suggesting they fix up their teeth.

Germany World Cup Soccer Jersey: Seeing how England doesn't take its soccer very seriously, why not give them a World Cup jersey of one of its biggest rivals.

IRA Figurine: Even though the IRA figurine was banned on eBay, Obama's staff could've dug up this little guy to remind the Prime Minister of the mad cap hilarity that accompanies a long running insurgence.
George Washington Delaware Crossing De-Motivator: It helps diplomatic relations to remind other nations that we kicked their ass 200+ years ago. An suitable alternative would've been "We Saved Your Ass in WW2!" T-shirt, which I'm pretty sure the Brits are fond of hearing from visiting American tourists.

23 comments:

M said...

Very Good! Still laughing.

Anonymous said...

Love the one about our teeth, I mean, the average American's ivories are so perfect aren't they? Face it, apart from the rich most American's teeth are appalling, a result of too many swwet drinks, junk food and that peculiarly American and utterly disgusting habit of chewing tobacco (and spitting the revolting residue into the nearest receptacle)I think I'll suggest that on the next visit of a British dignitary to the US we present your President with something useful and culturally appropriate, a spitoon perhaps? (Or maybe a gastric band?)

randy peoples said...

A T shirt saying," IT ALL STARTED IN AMERICA."

Charles Cornwallis said...

How about a "you got your arses kicked by straw hat wearing gooks"T-shirt.

Anonymous said...

A"you only enter a world war when its already been won" t-shirt.

Anonymous said...

I'd just like to point out Gordon Brown is Scottish(a sub human spieces which inhabits a large social housing estate in the northern wastelands of England).

Bishop Brennan said...

And, of course, Tony Blair is Scottish too, not English. Unlike many of your fellow Americans, we know he was completely useless.

You think you've got it bad with Obama... and you have.

But at least you don't have an in-the-closet, diaper-wearing, nose-picking, one-eyed gobshite for a 'leader'. At least we didn't elect him - he was appointed by Blair.

The shame of being represented by such an asshole... :-(

Oldrightie said...

Oldrightie crosses the pond!

they dont like it up em said...

You shouldn't believe everything that comes out of Hollywood The last time Americans tried to fight without their allies they were humiliated by a bunch of slanty eyed pig farmers.

Anonymous said...

Personally i would've been chuffed to bits with the classic dvd collection.Obamamamama has every right to be pissed off with a pencil box made out of rotten wood.
Brown your a tight fisted SCOTTISH wanker.

Dennis said...

It's not a joke about the teeth. The National Health (sic) Service is so bad now that you simply can't find a dentist (yes, that's right, you pay for it in your taxes or go to jail, and then you don't get it. A new form of social healthcare, called "theft").

There was a rumpus about this last year on the news when it emerged that a number of Brits had been pulling out their own rotten teeth with pliers.

Now, can you remind me again what Hilary has in store for you?

tsubaki said...

We have burned your capital to the ground, dont forget.

Nixon said...

Thanks for all the commenters who saw the link at Order Order.

Anonymous said...

A glass eye an Edward 1st figurine an England football(soccer)jersey and a true account of the battle of Sterling bridge would have made more appropiate gift's if your trying to take the piss!

Anonymous said...

A glass eye an Edward 1st figurine an England football(soccer)jersey and a true account of the battle of Sterling bridge would have made more appropiate gift's if your trying to take the piss!

Anonymous said...

Fucking Americans.

You're a bunch of hideously obese, self-obcessed, incompetent, inbred cunts.

The size of the chip on your shoulder is hilarious, you hate the fact that Britain has more history than you, a Royal Family, and a real sense of national identity as an island nation.
What do you have? The "American dream" - the fact that it is possible to get on in life if you have the necessary atributes and work hard enough, regardless of your social roots.
Well guess what? You can do that anywhere. There is nothing that makes you special.

You like to go on about how you always "kick ass" in military conflict, well I'd like to bet money that China alone would waste you in a one on one fight right now.
And if Russia, Iran, Syria and Pakistan (to name a few) joined in...

Wankers

Nixon said...

Anon,

This post was clearly satire, but tell us how you really feel about Americans, haha.

Anonymous said...

It's not a good time to be English when you have an infant brained unelected Scottish school bully trying to erode everything you value.

Nixon said...

Tsubaki,

You're still a lot more pleasant a character than that Stephen Fowler guy, haha.

Sarah "it began in America but ended in Africa" Brown said...

A box of adult diapers and a wooden rocking horse would have been fine.

cbullitt said...

Kudos for finding the IRA figurine, I guess the commemorative Guy Fawkes plates are still on back-order.

The Sniper said...

"You like to go on about how you always "kick ass" in military conflict, well I'd like to bet money that China alone would waste you in a one on one fight right now.
And if Russia, Iran, Syria and Pakistan (to name a few) joined in..."

Um, how do all of those folks allied against the U.S. count as a "one on one fight"?

I guess your math skills are as hobbled as your ability to detect sarcasm.

Anonymous said...

I'm not obese! To hell with your Royal Family, we have Chuck Norris! Manifest Destiny, Mofos!!