Much to the shock of the entire country, Obama has replaced SECDEF Robert Gates with former CEO of Microsoft Bill Gates. Thanks to JammieWearingFool for breaking the video of the speech of this shocking news.
In case you didn't know, William Gates III is the lovable nerd who survived numerous pantsings in high school to drop out of Harvard and start Microsoft. He became one of the most charitable people on the planet as well as one of the richest. Now he will be supervising all the US Armed Forces, the conduct of two counter-insurgency operations, and a controversial budget battle. Of course, Bill Gates would probably do a better job than Robert Gates' predecessor.