Obama-Care to Put America on the Carbon-Neutral Train to Squaresville

Your Mandatory Saturday Afternoon Fun in 2010

If you're a politically-correct American who lives in a carbon-neutral home, rides a bike with matching spandex to work, gets plenty of time in at the gym, and only eats organic shit from Whole Foods, then these new policies aren't going to affect you much. But for the rest of us who aren't total fucking dorks and enjoy having a beer or six once in awhile, the creeping nanny-statism in Obama's health care plan should make libertarians out of all of you.

Many of the same autocratic creeps who brought you anti-smoking campaigns in the 90s to tax the bejeezus out of the nation's working class are back with similar plans for soda, alcohol, and anything else they deem morally unfit. I guess they still haven't learn how to mind their own damn business. From Politico:

Any health care reform plan that Obama signs is almost certain to call for nutrition counseling, obesity screenings and wellness programs at workplaces and community centers. He wants more time in the school day for physical fitness, more nutritious school lunches and more bike paths, walking paths and grocery stores in underserved areas.

The president is filling top posts at Health and Human Services with officials who, in their previous jobs, outlawed trans fats, banned public smoking or required restaurants to provide a calorie count with that slice of banana cream pie.

Even Congress is getting into the act, giving serious consideration to taxing sugary drinks and alcohol to help pay for the overhaul.

The problem has never been that it's wrong to exercise, eat healthy foods, etc. The problem is that it's not supposed to be the job of federal government to regulate the conduct of every citizen's life. Do the people proposing these regulations really think they are so morally superior as to micromanage everyone's affairs? Them and the Religious Right should get a goddamn room.

Obama Derangement Syndrome

Grave Concerns About the Next 4 Years

While the media ejaculates on itself over the election of their guy, and urban hipsters take pride in being Americans again, it's important to discuss what kind of criticism will be levied against The Obama. Ed Morrissey of Hot Air says that it's time to gussy up the Republican Party, but Lela offers up much better advice:

Because I respect the office he will hold, I will act respectfully to the man who hold it. Don't misunderstand me, I will still speak out when I believe a policy, judgment, or action is wrong; that is my right, obligation, and privilege as a citizen. I will do so thoughtfully and respectfully. (Of course, I do reserve my right to be sarcastic when sarcasm is warranted, and I hope I never lose my sense of humor.)

Spewing forth blogorrhea about Obama's creepy "Muslin" heritage or how he smoked crack and had gay sex with Larry Sinclair are repulsive tactics, untrue, and ill-advised. But criticism of his disastrous policies, which remain rather unclear, are completely warranted and necessary during these tumultuous times. The Republican Party's choice of a dunce for a Veep candidate, electing a convicted felon to Senate, and supporting an intrusive proposition into the personal lives of gay Californians have shown that they have not learned the error of their ways. The Republican apparatus may no longer a viable mechanism to halt the disastrous ideals of people in power to nationalize 401K plans and to cut military spending in a time of war.

Sure, there are a few good things about Obama, like talking about keeping on the extremely competent Secretary of Defense Gates, and the fact that I'm sure he's a "swell guy" in person. But even progressive values once supported by some Democrats that sound suitable for our modern age, like ending the death penalty and our disastrous War on Drugs, have been met with opposition by the messiah who promises us so much Hope and Change.

Surely, you can understand why some Americans are deeply concerned about what this presidency will mean for the republic, and by extension the rest of civilization. If that is what passes for Obama Derangement Syndrome, then sign this blog up. And if you don't believe me, remember the words of Thomas Jefferson:

All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent.

Mankind's worst atrocities have been committed by governments with absolute power in a quest to remake society. Don't let it happen here.

-Famine

Chicago Citizens Line Up For Their Soylent Green Rations

Get used to waiting in line!

People pushed and crowded their way into Grant Park to catch a glimpse of The Obama like he was the resurrected corpse of Marilyn Monroe. On this monumental occasion, here's the words of wisdom that was shared with these unfortunate souls:

This is our time -- to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope; and where we are met with cynicism and doubt and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.

Can someone please tell the four horsemen what the hell this guy is talking is about? Does he want people to sign up for his civilian national security force or does going on the dole qualify as a patriotic act these days? Let's get into specifics here. Should Americans remain cynical about such flashy speeches with zero substance, yes we can!

-Famine

Liberal Urban Hipsters Now Deem The American Flag Cool

An American Flag...in Seattle?!?

The Stranger has published some photos of good times being had by throngs of Obamatrons in the streets of Seattle. One pic that was a bit unusual was a large American flag being waved from a passing car. Judging by the celebratory nature of the post, Old Glory is as cool as Radiohead showing up at a Live Earth concert. Of course it wasn't always this way. From the 2003 Stranger:

I hate the American flag, and I shouldn't have to see it this much. It makes me want to kill. Listen, the size of your American flag is directly proportional to how big of an asshole you are. The American flag is a symbol of all our biggest jerks, and the worst of our history. All these "Peace Is Patriotic" pushovers--fuck them; peace is not fucking patriotic. Patriotism is the cause of every war in the history of mankind that wasn't fought over religion. And can you really blame half the world for hating America? Look at the assholes representing us! That includes you with your flag, you piece of shit.

It seem there's an upside to the Obacalypse. Proudly displaying the American flag no longer makes you a brain-dead hick from the exurbs.

One more pic:

-Famine