Obama-Care to Put America on the Carbon-Neutral Train to Squaresville

Your Mandatory Saturday Afternoon Fun in 2010

If you're a politically-correct American who lives in a carbon-neutral home, rides a bike with matching spandex to work, gets plenty of time in at the gym, and only eats organic shit from Whole Foods, then these new policies aren't going to affect you much. But for the rest of us who aren't total fucking dorks and enjoy having a beer or six once in awhile, the creeping nanny-statism in Obama's health care plan should make libertarians out of all of you.

Many of the same autocratic creeps who brought you anti-smoking campaigns in the 90s to tax the bejeezus out of the nation's working class are back with similar plans for soda, alcohol, and anything else they deem morally unfit. I guess they still haven't learn how to mind their own damn business. From Politico:

Any health care reform plan that Obama signs is almost certain to call for nutrition counseling, obesity screenings and wellness programs at workplaces and community centers. He wants more time in the school day for physical fitness, more nutritious school lunches and more bike paths, walking paths and grocery stores in underserved areas.

The president is filling top posts at Health and Human Services with officials who, in their previous jobs, outlawed trans fats, banned public smoking or required restaurants to provide a calorie count with that slice of banana cream pie.

Even Congress is getting into the act, giving serious consideration to taxing sugary drinks and alcohol to help pay for the overhaul.

The problem has never been that it's wrong to exercise, eat healthy foods, etc. The problem is that it's not supposed to be the job of federal government to regulate the conduct of every citizen's life. Do the people proposing these regulations really think they are so morally superior as to micromanage everyone's affairs? Them and the Religious Right should get a goddamn room.

Obama to Save Economy by Employing Teens to Keep Them Off Your Lawn

Because Children are the Future

You're doing a heckuva job, Obama. Recent unemployment figures show that we are turning into a nation of hobos, and the reasons behind the economic collapse are, I admit, not all the fault of President O. But we could at least demand that he stop blowing smoke up our asses with hokey numbers from his spendulus plan.

Innocent Bystanders has some analysis on how the figures originally predicted by the administration were way too optimistic. See graph below to further your anxiety:
Now, to silence any criticism that maybe this monstrous $787B program was a lousy idea, Obama says that 600,000 jobs are going to be created this summer. Unfortunately, that number factors in teenage gigs working at the DQ and goofing off behind the cash register at the local Goodwill. CNS explains:

The biggest of the youth jobs program is in Cleveland, where 7,000 teens will be employed to work summer jobs through a $6.4 million program funded by stimulus money. About $3 million went to support 2,500 summer teen jobs in Riverside County, Calif., according to the report. Another 200 California teens will get summer jobs as a result of a $465,000 stimulus grant to Yuba County.

The Desert Sun out of Palm Springs has some more specifics on what kind of jobs the stimulus money created: minimum-wage jobs at state-run buildings so teenagers aren't making trouble during their summer break. Not that teenage employment is a bad thing, but using it to factor into the narrative about economic recovery for the American middle class is a bit sheisty.

Obama Names Bill Gates Head of the DoD

Much to the shock of the entire country, Obama has replaced SECDEF Robert Gates with former CEO of Microsoft Bill Gates. Thanks to JammieWearingFool for breaking the video of the speech of this shocking news.

In case you didn't know, William Gates III is the lovable nerd who survived numerous pantsings in high school to drop out of Harvard and start Microsoft. He became one of the most charitable people on the planet as well as one of the richest. Now he will be supervising all the US Armed Forces, the conduct of two counter-insurgency operations, and a controversial budget battle. Of course, Bill Gates would probably do a better job than Robert Gates' predecessor.

Obama Administration Continues to Brow-beat the Media Into Submission

Baghdad Bob and Bob Gibbs, Separated at Birth?

How hard a concept is it to grasp that public officials have a responsibility to answer questions from the media and not manipulate it to their own ends like some Ba'athist mouthpiece? The US Military understands this, most law enforcement institutions understand this, and dare I say congress might even understand this. But the Obama administration, ever in permanent campaign mode, seems obsessed with getting the media to heap praise upon them and not dare criticize The One's decisions. It's not like the White House press corps has been very critical in the first 100 days, but the President is unsatisfied that every front page article doesn't read like a press release.

Fox News recently got shut out of a Q&A session with the White House because they didn't broadcast the damn thing. Robert Gibbs started heckling NBC today when a straight-forward question from Chuck Todd was asked about Obama's sorry attempt at fiscal restraint. And now, Obama is just going straight to the reporters to tell them how to phrase his monstrous budget. From CBS:

In his remarks today, the president sought to change that tenor of that coverage. He mocked the notion that smaller savings are considered "trivial" in Washington and stressed that "these savings, large and small, add up."

And he told journalists directly that they should stress the fact that the cuts are "significant" – a surprisingly direct appeal to reporters concerning which angle they should take in their coverage.

"It is important, though, for all of you, as you're writing up these stories, to recognize that $17 billion taken out of our discretionary, non-defense budget, as well as portions of our defense budget, are significant," he said. "They mean something." (Here's the White House report on the cuts.)

And you thought the term "Banana Republic" was just some right-wing meme, mwahaha.

Penny-Pinching Obama Offers Up a 0.5% Savings To Monstrous Federal Budget

The Prez held a press conference today outlining cutting federal spending on wasteful programs to a tune of $17 Billion. Sure that sounds like a lot of cash, but it ain't much when you're dealing with $3.5T budget. As an analogy, it'd be like if you were $150,000 in the hole to angry Chinese mobsters, living on $1000/week, and decided it was time to cut back on your Saturday morning bagel with cream cheese and lox. From Political Punch:

The president laid out a number of examples of the more than 100 programs that will face cuts or termination, saying that many of them were outdated or ineffective.

The $17 billion in cuts add up to roughly one half of one percent of the $3.55 trillion budget. Still, the president said the savings are significant.

"These savings, large and small, add up. The 121 budget cuts we are announcing today will save taxpayers nearly $17 billion next year alone. That’s a lot of money, even by Washington standards," he said.

The real problem with the budget is that entitlement spending (Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid) is out of control, rife with fraud, and will only get worse as the boomers approach geezerdom. In Obama's defense, it's difficult to have the political capital to take on these leviathans, because no politician has the mojo. If Jesus himself came down to become Messiah-in-Chief of America, he probably wouldn't be able to cut back on Social Security without fear of an AARP smear campaign.

When America is reduced to ashes being crushed by its exorbitant debt, remember that Democracy has it's own pitfalls as people tend to vote "What's in it For Me?" instead of any long-term viable strategy for the republic.

Why Do New Yorkers Hate America?

This may be the low-hanging blog-fruit of the day, but with the exception of putting a bunch of barrels on the subway marked "Swine Flu", can you think of anything that would spook New Yorkers more than low flying planes? The White House is suffering some serious embarrassment today after a botched "Highway to the Danger Zone" photo-op involving one of the Air Force Ones in lower Manhattan. From WSJ:

On Monday morning, one of the 747s used to ferry around the president of the U.S. was dispatched to the Statue of Liberty, escorted by fighter jets. Assignment: Get some fresh glamour shots of the plane.

The Air Force said the flight needed to remain confidential. So while New York police knew about it, as did at least one person in the mayor's office, regular New Yorkers remained in the dark.

As a result, to onlookers Monday all across downtown Manhattan -- where the World Trade Center once stood -- the photo shoot looked like a terrorist attack. People watched in horror as a massive aircraft, trailed closely by F-16 fighters, banked and roared low over the city, in a frightening echo of the events of Sept. 11, 2001.

Fearing the worst, thousands of people streamed out of the skyscrapers and into the streets. Some buildings ordered evacuations.

The notification process seemed to have been completely lost in the black hole of bureaucracy, and the Mayor didn't even know about it (let alone your average New Yorker). Hot Air has some video footage of the chaos that ensued.

The President was forced to issue a hasty apology, and because of this numbskullery, the planned Obama as Jesus artwork set to go up in Union Square would probably be best delayed.

My Banana Republic Tis of Thee...

Lousy Presidential candidate/decent guy, Sen. John McCain, said going on a "witch hunt" for people involved in the notorious legal memos regarding enhanced interrogation would turn us into a screwy Banana Republic. From Politico:

“Look, I didn't agree, as you said, with the techniques — and I'd be glad to continue that debate with people. But to criminalize their legal counsel, unless you can prove that they intentionally violated existing laws or ethics, then this is going to turn into a witch hunt,” he said.

McCain compared the potential prosecutions with the actions of “banana republics” that “prosecute people for actions they didn't agree with under previous administrations.”

I tend to take the Shep Smith position on the torture issue personally, but, like when maintenance gets "magically completed" between the hours of 0000-0200 on a Navy ship, sometimes it's best to not know how the CIA conducts business. What would the public have to gain by demanding the release of classified documentation during a time of war? MoveOn.Org's latest ad provides some insight into that question. Prosecuting Darth Cheney of course!

This along with the Obama's administration half-assed attempt at bank nationalization by not allowing TARP recipients to pay back the money, sending law enforcement after political enemies and veterans, and our skyrocketing debt certainly might put us in the running for Banana Republic status.

But we're not even a cool Banana Republic. There's no marching around the jungle with a machete in a tropical climate as part of Generalissimo's hit squad. There's no kickbacks from shady fat dudes in Hawaiian shirts laundering drug money. And there's no gaudy uniforms with big ass hats and made-up medals. All we get is lousy Oboner tributes from the sycophantic media about Obama's "house of rock" and shitty artwork of the El Presidente. This Banana Republic sucks.

Levin: Expect painful defense cuts

To go along with all of my other warnings of cuts in Defense spending (here, here, here and here), TSO sends the latest;


It happens every time the Democrats get control of Congress and the White House. They take money from defense and put it into social patronage programs. They win elections without the military vote, so what can it hurt them? Then when a Republican gets into office and tries to fix defense, they (and the media) scream to High Heaven about their spending. Reagan had to fix Carter's neglect of the military, Bush had to repair the damage done by the Clinton years. Think there were shortages during the Bush years, you just watch - the difference now is that our troops are under fire (despite their best attempts to change the language so it doesn't seem so). What happens when there's no ammunition for training now? What happens when there are no more cruise missiles this time?

And you have to ask yourself why Levin isn't being specific about the cuts. More than likely it's because there'll be some major cuts in personnel expenses. Things like pay, bonuses, recruiting, retention and training. That will place a drag on manpower needs. Lucky for Obama, Jimmy Carter brought back draft registration after Nixon ended it. Then watch the cuts to veterans' benefits. BOFO.

Online Town Hall with Obama Chocked Full of Obama Supporters

To further the cause of transparency, the online Obama town hall isn't necessarily a bad idea, but stocking the room full of Obama supporters has little to do with accountability in Washington and everything to do with the permanent campaign mentality. The Washington Post did some diggin' and has an explanation of why the "randomly selected" 5 asked hardball questions like "Thank you, Mr. President. My name is Sergio Salmeron. I want to find out about health care." From WaPo:

But while the online question portion of the White House town hall was open to any member of the public with an Internet connection, the five fully identified questioners called on randomly by the president in the East Room were anything but a diverse lot. They included: a member of the pro-Obama Service Employees International Union, a member of the Democratic National Committee who campaigned for Obama among Hispanics during the primary; a former Democratic candidate for Virginia state delegate who endorsed Obama last fall in an op-ed in the Fredericksburg Free Lance-Star; and a Virginia businessman who was a donor to Obama's campaign in 2008.

This was the same online Town Hall where Obama blew off a question about marijuana legalization. Guess there were no talking points available on that one. It's no wonder that lefties like Bill Maher, Andrew Sullivan, and Paul Krugman are dropping the sycophantic nonsense and beginning to publicly criticize the President. 'Bout time they woke up and smelled the coffee.

Scary Zombie Training Video Released by Obamamaniacs

Following up on the "pledge" that Obama's never-dismantled campaign apparatus was going to be knocking on doors to talk about Toxic Avenger Geithner doing a heckuva job, they've released a training video. Ed Morrissey simply calls it "very, very creepy" as it furthers the bizarre cult-of-personality that Americans seem to have been swindled into. Evidence can be found at the Organizing for America website:

Today it was raining like crazy but several of us still went out and managed to get 212 pledges signed - not bad considering the weather. I was heartened by the strong support President Obama still enjoys locally. We got tee shirts made up for the occasion that have the Obama emblem and "President Obama - We Pledge Our Support" on them.

... Our President told us we have to stay involved if we expect the changes we voted for to happen. The special interests will be active - we have to be twice as active as they are!

Recall the scene in Jesus Camp where religious types blessed a cardboard cutout of former President Bush (in tongues!). At least those weirdos weren't sporting Obama-stickered clipboards and bugging me at the local grocery store to get behind the stimulus package.

The End is Nigh

And it's not even from anything "cool" like nuclear winter or some super-virus, but rather from...an money-bombing Fed? Financial Post explains:

The spillover effect of all this on the rest of the world promises to be dramatically disruptive. The greatest global risk is in monetary and currency policy. Below is a chart that graphically demonstrates the sharp deviation in monetary policy from past norms. Under the chairmanship of Ben Bernanke, the Federal Reserve is in the midst of a giant economic experiment, flooding the world with U.S. dollars, hoping that flood will stimulate economic activity.

The total monetary base, already at astronomical levels, is now expected to take another big hit with the new Fed policy of buying up U.S. longer-term treasury bills in a bid to drive down long-term interest rates.

Weak. "Helicopter" Ben Bernanke probably doesn't even know how to ride a horse.

-Famine

PM Brown's DVDs Didn't Even Work in Region 2

Remember that crappy box O' DVDs that Obama gave to the UK Prime Minister as some form of a "special partnership"...well it turns out the DVDs don't even work across the pond. From The Telegraph (h/t Greyhawk):

Alas, when the PM settled down to begin watching them the other night, he found there was a problem.

The films only worked in DVD players made in North America and the words "wrong region" came up on his screen. Although he mournfully had to put the popcorn away, he is unlikely to jeopardise the special relationship – or "special partnership", as we are now supposed to call it – by registering a complaint.

Also, some punk staffer gave The Telegraph attitude when contacted:

A White House spokesman sniggered when I put the story to him and he was still looking into the matter when my deadline came last night.

It was reported that the Prime Minister was attempting to watch Psycho, but knowing the reliable competence of the new White House, I'm certain it was the ill-fated and atrocious 1998 remake with Vince Vaughn and not the original Hitchcok.

Obama-bots get their marching orders

Your neighbors are about to get a whole lot more irritating;


That last paragraph really bothers me;

We know this fight won't be easy. But important battles never are. Together, we have the opportunity to shape our country's future. We believed in the power of people to win an improbable election victory. And we believe in the power of people to drown out the cynics and entrenched interests in Washington to bring lasting, meaningful change we can all be proud we played a role in.

What fight? The one they're having against common sense? Does this mean they're going to be knocking on my door every few hours? Are they going to hold me in headlock until I say "uncle"? This isn't an election - what can they accomplish? Well, here are their choices for pledging support;

Who do they think they're going to be convincing? Any one who can make any sort of decision? I guess it's just to keep them all in the habit of doing what they're told.

And that "entrenched interests in Washington" line is sounding more like Chavez' "oligarchy" phantoms every time they use it.

Close enough for government work

I've always hated that phrase for all the years I spent in government. It seemed to perpetuate a myth that all government workers were half-assed goof-offs.

Well, welcome to the Executive Office of the President version;


Just Monday, I was getting email from my BFFs telling me to fight for this spending bill, now Obama is hiding in a closet in the Oval Office signing the damn thing in the dark. WTF, over?

I wonder what it's like to be so empty of principles and direction.

Obama's Minions Will Soon Be Annoying You At Your Residence

After the messiah's coronation, you may have noticed that many lefty blogs got thoroughly boring in a hurry. Also, the big name anti-Bush commentators at MSNBC who provide blog fodder have seen their ratings slide faster than Season 5 of Coach in the past month. This has to do with the fact that no one wants to read some crummy repackaged press release from the White House, and the anti-Rush/"conservatives are mean dickheads" argument got stale in about 1997. That's why critical thought and snarky analysis is going completely by the wayside for the liberal community, and just annoying the shit out of your neighbors with Obama slogans is the "new" new media.

Obama's propaganda wing, Organizing For America, has a new video on how to spread the gospel in your community (h/t Politico). You basically go around calling your neighbors and knocking on their doors to get on Team Obama. Because who needs to get their information objectively when you can just get some talking points for every wacky new policy the President is proposing.

Shudddeerrr. How would you like this creep coming by your house during dinner time to explain why the latest omnibus bill chocked full of earmarks was really the result of "Bush's Failed Policies"? Also, that map in the background looks like he's pinpointed where he chopped up hookers and dumped them on the side of the freeway in garbage bags. Of course having to listen to this knucklehead in person, I'd probably asked to be mercy killed too.

That Pretty Much Sums Up The First 100 Days

From Jeffrey Wright

That's not encouraging

Another eye-catching headline from the Associated Press;

While the stock market tumbles, unemployment shoots higher, gas prices are rising again but The One "knows" he did the right thing. See, here let me explain to any Democrat philosophy major who has never had a job or a business or invested in the stock market how those things work (because I have a little experience at all three) - those things do well, or poorly, based on the expectations of future performance. That's why businesses have sales targets and staff economists to project that stuff.

If it looks like business will be bad, businesses will cut labor - the most expensive part of doing business. If investors think that government is making unfriendly gestures towards the economy, they won't invest and the market tumbles - businesses shed more jobs so they can stay in business. If taxpayers think their taxes will rise, they'll stop spending their money to make those balloon payments they expect next year from the IRS.

The economy today is a result of what people with money think the future looks like. The reason the economy did well under Clinton and Bush is because they knew what the future looked like. The market tumbled after 9-11 because it added uncertainty into the market. Uncertainty that lingered for more than a year until it became apparent that Bush was going to keep the country safe.

I listened to Obama today yammer on about how change is good for us. That he's tired of dealing with people who want to do things "the old way", or words to that effect. Um, "the old way" is the reason we're the most prosperous and powerful nation in the history of the world. Maybe the people who want to do the things "the old way" are right. "The new way" doesn't seem to be panning out so well. Change isn't always good - history is littered with spectacular failures that were considered good ideas until they weren't so good anymore. Things like New Coke and dirigibles.

Folks used to criticize Bush because they said he was pig-headed and never admitted when he was wrong. Obama is being a bit pig-headed, too. Jobless rates rising and the stockmarket tumbling while he chants "I know I was right" is not encouraging. Not in the least. I think that'll reflect in Monday's market.

4 More Classy Gift Ideas To England For Obama

Seeing how Obama's big ole Box O' DVDs went over like a lead balloon with the UK Prime Minister, cbullit suggested a "Guy Fawkes commemorative plate" to further smooth our relations with the folks across the pond. Here's some other swell gift ideas Obama's crack diplomacy team could've used to boost our ties with England:


Home Dental Kit: What better way to ridicule negative stereotypes about the Brits than awkwardly suggesting they fix up their teeth.

Germany World Cup Soccer Jersey: Seeing how England doesn't take its soccer very seriously, why not give them a World Cup jersey of one of its biggest rivals.

IRA Figurine: Even though the IRA figurine was banned on eBay, Obama's staff could've dug up this little guy to remind the Prime Minister of the mad cap hilarity that accompanies a long running insurgence.
George Washington Delaware Crossing De-Motivator: It helps diplomatic relations to remind other nations that we kicked their ass 200+ years ago. An suitable alternative would've been "We Saved Your Ass in WW2!" T-shirt, which I'm pretty sure the Brits are fond of hearing from visiting American tourists.

Obama Gives PM Gordon Brown a Crummy Box of DVDs

Maybe They Could've Sweetened the Deal with a Used Copy of Mac and Me

It pretty much goes without say that the Brits have been one of our best allies ever since that whole unpleasant War of 1812 business. World War I, World War II, standing united against communist expansion, fighting side by side against terrorism, and other "minor" mutual understandings to name a few. But Obama's staff neglected to pull out the stops when PM Gordon Brown was in town and gave him what looks like a box of used DVDs from a Virginia flea market. Not exactly the V.I.P. treatment for a Prime Minister. Perhaps Obama should've screened his staff for protocol experience instead of whether or not they ever owned a firearm. From Daily Mail (h/t Flopping Aces):

Perhaps pertinently, given Britain is floundering in an economic slump, the DVD collection was thought to feature the movie of John Steinbeck's Great Depression novel, 'The Grapes Of Wrath'.

The gift also included the Oscar-winning boxing biopic 'Raging Bull' starring Robert Di Nero and Alfred Hitchcock's classic thriller Psycho - maybe a comment on the PM's notorious short fuse?

And he will hope that at a General Election the British public do not shun his imploration for another term in office by thinking at the ballot box of the famous line from another of the movies, Casblanca: 'Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.'

Obviously, the Brits, big on the whole pomp and circumstance thing, were bloody-well pissed. Obama is set to meet the Queen of England in the near future. Let's hope that some boneheaded staffer doesn't diarrhea all over the toilet seat in Buckingham Palace further embarrassing America.

Obama's Economic Policies Really Kicking Ass!

Laidoffs in Michigan (the bad kind of laid)

Well, the left has been trying to say that Wall Street hitting the floor faster than a prom dress was not a good indicator of the economy, but what about all those jobs that The Obama promised? The first full month of Obama's America isn't looking to swell either. Dismal news from Reuters:

The U.S. unemployment rate rose to a 25-year high of 8.1 percent in February as employers, buckling under the strain of a severe recession, axed 651,000 jobs, government data showed on Friday.

Adding to the gloom, a combined 161,000 more jobs were lost in January and December than previously believed, the U.S. Labor Department said in its monthly nonfarm payrolls report.

Now, blaming the Prez for all the economic troubles is a bit disingenuous, but continuing to blame Bush & Friends for everything bad with the economy is going to wear very thin among lefty pundits. Obama and the Democrat-controlled Congress have already passed multiple bills to "stimulate" the economy and free up credit, but they probably would've been better off spending $787B Taxpayer dollars on some magic beans. And we aren't even experiencing the hyper-inflationary period since we printed a bunch of funny money and dumped into unprofitable banks. Get ready for a wild ride...Wheee!